Following the recent resignation of Sri Lanka’s cricket captain, vice-captain and selection committee after last week’s defeat in the World Cup Final, the President, Prime Minister and Cabinet Ministers of Sri Lanka all resigned today with immediate effect. Speaking at a news conference, outgoing President Mahinda Rajapaksa said “I think it’s time to move on and make room for ...
Government spokesman Keheliya Rambukwella responded today to UN Humanitarian Affairs Chief John Holmes’ concerns about the safety of humanitarian workers by alleging that Mr. Holmes’ comments were part of a vast international conspiracy against the Mahinda Rajapakse administration. “We have suspected for a while that the world was out to get us – how else do you explain the rise ...
Cities throughout Sri Lanka overflowed with patriotic joy this weekend in response to the government’s capture of Thoppigala and thus its total liberation of the Eastern Province from terrorists. Trishaw driver K. A. L. P. Kamaladasa commented euphorically, ‘Now our brothers and sisters in the East can live their lives without fear of terrorism and violence! Well, apart from encounters ...
President Mahinda Rajapakse briefed the media yesterday on one of the gravest problems facing the nation; the shortage of Rajapakse family members. President Rakapakse commented, ‘I only have 3 brothers and even if you were to take the rest of my family into account, we still don’t have enough people to fill the 100-plus ministerial posts in the government. With ...
Air Marshall Sarath Punchihewa revealed more details of the government’s air defence strategy so as to reassure public fears about further LTTE air attacks. Speaking to reporters, Air Marshall Punchihewa said, ‘The public should be completely at ease; the finest minds in our military have worked on our defence plan. As you might know, our reaction to word of an ...
Aruni Rajapakse (center) was crowned Miss Sri Lanka for Miss Universe last night in a fairy-tale rise to success. Ms. Rajapakse had not intended to participate in the pageant but was drafted in at the last minute by organisers to satisfy a government edict that only a Rajapakse can represent Sri Lanka internationally. Sources indicate that Ms. Rajapakse’s victory came ...
Defence secretary Gotabhaya Rajapakse today countered news reports that his security detail had been involved in an incident of road-side harassment against Amrit Jayawardene, the grandson of former president JR Jayawardene. Mr. Rajapakse said today that on seeing the newspaper reports of the incident, he had sent a couple of his vehicles to Mr. Jayawardene’s house, and in discussions there ...
Investigations into last week’s attack by the LTTE on the Katunayake Air Force base have unearthed some new details about the operation. Sri Lanka Air Force (SLAF) sources indicate that in between the LTTE airplanes being noticed by army personnel in Vavuniya and the 12:45am attack on the airbase, the LTTE airplanes had landed at the Parliament Grounds in Kotte ...
The world dictatorship rankings saw a lot of changes last week as the leaders of Zimbabwe, Pakistan and Sri Lanka intensified their bids to become the world’s top tyrant. Zimbabwe’s President Mugabe gained 32 points to move up to number three on the list after his orchestration of the assault on Zimbabwe’s opposition leader. President Musharraf’s suspension of Pakistan’s ...
In a continued attempt to court popular support, the government announced today a further series of ministerial appointments with renowned actress Anarkalli Akarsha appointed Minister of Cleavage, aging cricketer Sanath Jayasuriya named Minister of Baldness and Gypsies frontman Sunil Perera named Minister of Sound. The new round of appointments has come in for criticism from some sections of the government; ...
BBS strongman Gnanasara Thero’s penchant for controversy resurfaced yesterday when the Thero ordered and consumed a dish of ‘Pan-Fried Monkfish’ at the Barefoot restaurant in Colombo. The BBS has denied media reports that the monk’s consumption of monkfish was a veiled threat towards to the coastal branches of the Sangha. When reached for comment on his choice of dish, Gnanasara ...
