Following the recent resignation of Sri Lanka’s cricket captain, vice-captain and selection committee after last week’s defeat in the World Cup Final, the President, Prime Minister and Cabinet Ministers of Sri Lanka all resigned today with immediate effect. Speaking at a news conference, outgoing President Mahinda Rajapaksa said “I think it’s time to move on and make room for the younger ones. We had a great run and I’m very proud of what we have achieved in the last five years but the need now is to rebuild our system of government so that we can have a good shot at winning the 2015 World Cup’.

Mr. Rajapakse refused to comment on rumours that up and coming politician Namal Rajapaksa would now assume the mantle of national leadership, merely saying ‘It’s not my decision to make but I think we can all agree that Namal is the Angelo Mathews of the political world and I think Angelo’s future is looking very bright at the moment’.

Opposition Leader Ranil Wickremasinghe reacted strongly to the news of the mass resignation, saying ‘I cannot understand why they would all resign. And I mean that literally; I absolutely cannot comprehend the concept of resigning a post gracefully and letting someone else take over’.