I still hold the promises you mademaybe someday you will keep themmaybe someday I willlose them

at the close of every year I delete demons anew; every single one except for you.

funny how you can break a heartwithout ever laying a fingeron the one who loves

if you ever wonder whyeven after all this timeremember, we said 'always'

you walked into a baryou walked into a bar and you forgot to phoneyou walked into a bar and you forgot to phoneso I phoned youI phoned you and askedhow you walked into a bar and forgot to phoneand you started explaininghow you were there in the barwith the men talking business and you explained business to mebut mansplaining takes time so I heard herI heard her.

if there evercomes a dayI see you hold someone elseI will pray for strengthstrength enough to slice throughthose wrists,tear tendons,crush cartilagecut muscles,ligaments,sever nervesand arteries,smash thosebones to bitsand because those hands are so special,I will also pray for strengthto do it quicklyso quickly thatyou won’t feel a thing until l leave

why didn't you leave?how do you answer that?only by leaving - leave.

I rememberstanding in doorwayswatching water crashingour silhouettes framed by light

thisdriving rainonly makes thedarkness darker stillthememoriesof you and meare still too rawtoo dark, too real

wait until she leaves youyou will learn the names of all the gods in this universeas you learn to scream hersin a hundred different ways

and you, you play your gamewhile I, I wait in vainthat time you said you loved meall I heard was that ‘d’

don’t sit theretelling me not to let anyone steal my smile

if we are no longerdebating thismagicand our argumentis essentiallylogisticsyou know we willnever get offground

love endures, but hate – hate gives you the hottest firesa burning that won’t easeflaming in the pit of your bellyeyes alight, skin ablaze, heart afirebrilliantly aflamesearing through lifehate is hot coals on cold nights

what once seemed like lovein hindsight becomesan astounding type of idiocy -it takes two rare idiotsto do to each otherwhat we did

to my lasting regret,this is what you do best:you make me laugh,and you make me forget

another day of 3 a.m. sadnesswaiting for you with myheart in my mouththis silence ischoking me

this noose of corona despairever-present, like dust in the air,it sometimes threatensto drop like a familiar snake, or an acquaintance visiting, withbags and baggage in tow, but Islip away, quietly, slowly;pretend there is no one home, Iwalk quietly into the garden; Ilook around hopefully -see time greening to life around me; Isense the clouds moving awaythe ground, it stays still; ...

my mouth is filled with glass nowI swallow moreeach time we speakwith shards in bloodI am shreddedsoon there will be silence

in pretend-play of indulgence, you confessyou pour your emotions into holes in pocketspaper-tear and thin airplaces no longer theremotionless, emotionlessthis silence no longerholds solace