a sometimes-narcissistI often forget if I loveyou or me more

tell me what this madness means:this seeing you where you haven’t beenimagining you where you no longer arewanting you whereyou never will be

you standbehind a wallof silenceI sit hereand bleedwordsI don't knowwhich one of usis wiserbut I knowwhich one of usstill loves

I don’t play hard to get: I cannot be gotten I will not be owned I belong to myself. but there are times when: you breathe me in and hold me close and then, only then, I am entirely yours.

someone always leaves,you said; but don’t forget:someone always stays.

you appear; disappearI turn on and then turn offthese feelings for you

I watchblood dropinto the waterhypnotised it opens out like tendrilswhisper'my god, my godwhat have we done?'

you can’t help but wonder at the way he kisses – too tender, as if he isn’t certain he’s allowed, let alone desired – you catch your breath, fight for air; the night weighs heavy – his kisses are almost as light as the touch of his fingers (raindrops, sliding) – what a time to remember ‘the prophet’ – ...

if we take away the slangof this internet romancewhat will we be left with?we can sit and debatehow to spell it:mwah, mmwah, or mwaah –surely it must be dealt with

this month brought me you, heart-eater after the chill of December, January newness conjured up out of thin air, too suddenly you were there – a whirlwind, breath-stealer you brought poetry and laughter, in the month of love

it is slow, this stitching of life together;jaggedness everywhereI am forever reciting, remembering,reminding myself:'the blood of the covenantis thicker than the water of the womb'the fabric is stainedbut the thread is strongI fold the cloth over, resolutegather my soldiers together in tight stitchesthese new wars we will win

1. you are not the first personto have had your heart broken2. you are not the first personto be cheated on3. you are not the first personto wake up with glass inside you4. you are not the first personto be paralysed by grief5. you are not the first personto be unloved.

1.'I have washed my hands off the matterI am taking the Pontius Pilate route'2.'you are so blinded by this psychopathyou can't see how toxic he is for you'3.'so much pressure on the next mangiven how much you talk about him'4.'I'd compete on the right aspectsif I knew what he did'5.'tell me what else your mouth can do'

if you stay stilland stay silent,it will be okayyour silencemust not beassertive,nor your stillnessself-importantthey must notmake any STATEMENTsignalsubmission,then thingswill be okay,no one willhurt youthey will hurt youbut only so muchnever morethan necessary(except on special occasions)

1. We kiss differently 2. You make it hard for me to breathe 3. I breathe easier when I am with you 4. You have the softest, softest hands5. Our ghosts don’t get along6. I’m not one for surprises7. Your tenderness8. The way your fingers slow dance on my skin9. I don’t see your name written on the moon10. You ...

you said be readyI wasn't ready for this.

sometimes I writebecause you needacknowledgment:at least in my head

don't mind meI'm just waitingfor the world to stop breakingall the women it births

to thinkthat you thinkI traced only one transgressionyou forget how fastI read

you are not defectiveyou are not a body bagyou are not an embarrassmentyou are not your political positionyou are more than an aspenyou are kinship with treesyou are existential joyyou are a poem