your eyes met mine as I reached down to put on my shoes there was a pause, a drawing in of breath and in that moment you knew and I knew I was leaving you

those street smiles?they were turned inside out and stripped bare when you left again, that second time

there was also a time whenyou used to tease mefor smiling on the streetsthinking about you

there was a time when I used to smile on the streets just thinking about you

he scurried about frantically, like an ant,from vehicle to vehiclein a white tattered shirt,a sarong, and a siri-siri bagfilled with his belongingstouching the shutters he paused, pleading,waiting patientlyno one helped him todayin that time betweenred light and greenI was angry; I told myselfhe didn’t deserve help – all limbs intact, begging!I was angrier he burst my bubble,spoiled the pretty ...

happy new year darlingI love you foreverand always

so be with me – in the new year and the old yearand every yearthat ever will beand I will love you – with my bloodand my bonesand every ounce of my being

maybe next yearI’ll miss you less, yes?no.

no matter whatI’ll always be the onewho loved youmore than anyone else wouldthe one who loved youtoo much for anyone’s good

I still hold the promises you mademaybe someday you will keep themmaybe someday I willlose them

at the close of every year I delete demons anew; every single one except for you.

in your perfumeI still soak friendship bandsit brings you back like nothing else can

six months is ancient historyI think you need to forget menow

at the end of a long, cold DecemberI gather memories for firewood;your memory won’t burnI hold you too closethese woundsare stillraw

yes, we couldbe happier;but happinesslies in this:celebratingwhat is.

out of my depthI finally let go,sink slowlyinto you.

you gave meachingly beautiful bo leavesheart-shaped offerings of everything that was you holding everything you wanted us to bethose dreams, they tore apart in my careless hands

and I love youfor all thisa too-wide smilea sudden kissa glance, a toucha word amissthank you forthis bliss

tell me what this madness means:this seeing you where you haven’t beenimagining you where you no longer arewanting you whereyou never will be

warm-honeyed-cinnamonall-spice teasehow I love your voice in the mornings, climbinginside my ear, into my veinsfilling up my heart