At the time, no one believed me when I said that it was Suzy that killed Heather. Despite all my protests and the bouts of wailing that I commanded a large audience for, no one believed me. As one of the policemen scoffed — Dolls don’t kill people; people kill people!! But no one knew Suzy like I did. It ...
Interesting conversation with my friend’s Italian boyfriend who paid this sunny island a visit. Him: I hate culture and religion. Me: Ok, I can understand that. Him: I thought South Asia is bad, but Europe is worse. Me: I don’t know. Have you heard of Sati Pooja where a widow is compelled to burn herself on the same funeral pyre ...
Delivery Operator: Am I talking to Mr. R. S. Perera? Me: Yes. Delivery Operator: Is it R. S. Perera or R. H. ? Me: S. Delivery Operator: S or H? Me: S. S for Sri Lanka, S for sexy, S for (I start singing at this point Right Said Fred) I’m too sexy for my body, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts… Delivery Operator: *5 minutes of giggling*
Life doesn’t prepare you for most of the shit it throws at you (that’s for sure). Take today, for example. Your phone rings in your pocket, and you just know by instinct that some serious shit has come up. Dad! — he wails. Mum’s dead, and I don’t know what to do! — he continues, and resigns himself into a ...
Dear Pop … I’m fed up, disgusted, and totally out of sorts with Duke University and formal education in general, for that matter, and I hardly see why I’m taking a crack at this Rhodes scholarship when I’m such an execrable student. Only the fact that this is my last semester keeps me from packing up and leaving. I’ve come ...
He said: Even flowers stink when they’re dying, darling. Did you know that? She replied: I do, but I know our love won’t die. It’s unlike any other. It’s immutable. He said: This is true. She smiled, and took the paring knife near her, looked into his eyes and saw such sacrosanct devotion for her. He nodded, and she stabbed ...
Papa always told him to man up, be a man, grow some balls, suck it up, and just get the fuck on with it. He was, of course, referring to Dan’s complaints on life. But Dan was the timid type, and this always got him a tongue lashing that turned his ears red, and eyes bright with tears. Papa didn’t ...
There was hardly a sound as he walked into the confessional and knelt before the screen. He said: It’s been a long time since I confessed, Father. He hesitated and continued: Actually I’ve never confessed. Father Dan then said: My son, express the Act Of Contrition. Do you know it? He started to speak; his voice was jittery at first, ...
You’ll have to forgive two things: one, the errors in punctuation and grammar; two, the soiling of your white papers with the uninhibited massacring of my emotions. I’m writing to keep the pain at bay, and probably madness, too. Can you believe that I’ve just been staring at this particular sheet of paper for two hours without even a single ...
Her 15 minutes of fame was guaranteed; she just needed the right #selfie jazzed up with the perfect filter plus some trend-worthy hashtags, and she was good to go. Yeah, so big deal! Everyone’s a #selfiehashtagwhore these days and who’s judging? JodiIsSexy16 had plans to be big when it came to the #instauniverse and by golly she will be a ...
A sincere lie that was wrapped with good intentions led to all of this. She once looked deep into his eyes, caught the fear in them, and calmed the drops of anger that threatened to spill over those luscious eye lashes. She used to say: Whatever you do, don’t give into fear. Please promise me this. Now let me kiss ...
I never liked my relations; never liked them at all to be honest. I rather trust a cocaine-addled whore who fucked her father and then her son — there’s an inkling of something human there compared to my stupid family. I despise the thin veil of politeness and caring they bring along with the Word of God, and their pathetic ...
Every house has a story to tell, I suppose: the archaic porcelain that has been molded by ancient hands, which are imprinted with flowery motifs; the out-of-tune grand piano that surely entertained the rich glitterati of that time; the stained satin bedspreads that have witnessed a string of infidelities; a lustful garden teeming with verdant promises long forgotten; and who ...
We all are, she said, a wee bit different. The twinkle in his mother’s eyes told him not to take what she was about to say too seriously. So he prepared himself; what he saw within the next few minutes became structured in his mind like a numbered list. 1. She stood up, and lifted her skirt, smiling as she ...
