I'm still around, jetlagged and tired after my trip back home. The vacation was completely awesome, with the added benefit that the hubby bonded with the niece, loves SL and wants to go back later this year. As usual, I am left wondering if my place is here, or if I should move back. This freezing weather doesn't help at ...

I hate it when I think I am over something and then a situation occurs and I know that I am still going through the process of getting over it. It's also disconcerting to know that sometimes I just can't control the initial emotions I have when dealing with some situations. Anger, hurt, frustration - they can all just consume ...

I stabbed him 9 times and he didn't notice. I think I could do it again but I threw my knife away. There were 9 hymns, I remember. The chorus rings in my ears, and my head can’t let them go. 9 times it was, that he died. But like Pinocchio, he walks and talks. If I were a ...

The door was always wide open for you. You came and went, only to surprise me by creeping in unannounced. I never minded, sweeping up after you. But somehow, I was left always waiting, always wanting. Never venturing outside in case you might visit. Today, time ran out for you, and started for me. The sun was shining and I ...

Would you like some space to yourself? Or space to rest your head? The space between us is more than an arms length, or a flight of fancy. Space travel was never my thing. I could hardly face any space without you. Your need for space was inconsistent with your need for me. Your need for space was incompatible ...

I wait for emotions to fill me up. I search the spaces where I think they hide. But nothing stares back at me, its dark eyes inviting, its wings open. I am embraced. I will continue looking. There are many dark corners yet to explore. But I am finding it hard to care. I sit my companion down on ...

Ever feel completely brain dead? Like - there is nothing in your head, except for basic mundane thoughts - e.g. - what's on tv? Have I watched this one before? Am I hungry enough to make a sandwich or will some crisps do? I need to pee, no wait I don't, no, no, I do etc. I have been so ...

So I know this blog was supposed to be a place I can post my poetry up, and I will do. But I just ran across this and I thought it was kinda cool, brought back some memories of home. It was written when I was 19, and kinda inspired by that white homeless guy who always used to hang ...

Seriously, how do people go through their days? There are so many decisions to be made! What to wear? What to eat? What to do? What to do first?? What to do next??!I HATE being indecisive. I keep thinking that decisions should eventually get easier to make the more I have to make them. There should be some kinda points ...

i see all these traits in me, that people say are faults, and they tell me i should change.i am too forgiving.i am too gullible.i am too naive.i expect too much.i give too much.i fall in love too easily.i guess i am too naive. i really do want to believe the best in people, i want to trust them, and ...

I smile, as they try to pinpoint my identityand fit me in with their formalities.Dissecting me into little bits,and coming up with incredulity.Simplicity is beyond their world,it exists in another life.Its almost heartbreaking,when I break away from their norms.I smile, as they devise various reforms.Their constant battle with identity,a blatant confusion of dignity.It’s just a clash in reality,not worth two ...

its a dark nightbut the stars are outand every one of themis a friendtonightmy feet sink into the sandas the waves flow around mei want to dive in and swim to the edge of the worldat this momenti know i can do it.its dark tonightbut who cares?i am more than this darknessi am more than me tonighti can touch the ...

once, i sang along to this song, with every emotion as raw as the singer. i was him, experiencing his pain, experiencing his distress. i was him, watching as his lover slipped away, into the arms of someone else. and i still kept singing. fast forward years later, and this same song plays, while i dance with the same guy ...

"Calm down" , he says,like he knowsthe thoughts in my head.But how could he?They are mine alone.Not his,not anymore.And I think these things. These awful things,they never go away, they always stayevery single day. Every. Single. Day.And over and over and overand around and around and around,I think and rethink,I want to stop, I need to stop,How can I stop?Calm ...

once every scar had a namea time, a place, a memoryi count how many were minethey all are.but some are yours toothis one especiallyshines just for youits large, and terrifyingly beautifuland its right were you used to belong.scars are interesting things. they are a part of the healing process. whats left of a wound when your body decides that you ...

apathy is.i have always loved that quote. although lets be honest - i feel apathetic towards you, doesn't have the same ring to it as - i fucking hate you, you ass licking cunt faced mother fucker. and i really need to find an occasion to use that on someone... love, hate and apathy. i've written plenty about love. i've ...

ever since i can remember, i have had issues with reality. i prefer the life i live in my head. i'm taller, and i have better skin.the below two poems were written when i was 15 and 16. i had a bit of a chuckle, its nice to know i was over dramatic, even at that age - i feel ...

everything is bigbig words in a big bookbig hair for a big lookwhen did enormous become the new black?there are so many coloursred clouds in a blue seapink sun, setting indefinitelyif its too pale, its not neededits unwanted, take it back.its all loud, you know?shouts in a beautiful songlets all just scream alongand if you can’t yellthen you’ll disappear. everything ...

the name of this blog should really be - to all the men i've loved before. i need to find other topics to write melodramatic poetry about.2 am is always a creative time, there is no point trying to be creative at 12 noon.talking to some friends make me want to be a better writer, they inspire and humble me. ...

so the third thing did wind up happening, or maybe my superstitious mind made it seem that way. it wasn't really terrible, in the grand scheme of things. it was my own carelessness, and its really that it could have been prevented which stings as much as the thing itself.what was it? well i lost my favourite bracelet, and yes, ...