What is it about family that makes you just transform from a mature, self possessed adult, to a yelling screaming mess of a child? My mom still sees me as a baby, and it's just so easy to step into that role - it's like a well worn path that I tread. Mostly, it's fine, it works. But then something ...
How do these strings form, and span such distances? They are like spiderwebs linking us together. No matter how far we run they never break, they just get thinner. Every word and touch joins us, Every curse and kiss binds us. They are invisible things attaching me to you, and you to me. They used to be stronger - ...
I guess one of my biggest issues is motivation and procrastination. I am lazy, I know I am. I am actually surprised I've made it so far in my career. But I do take pride in my work, so perhaps that helps. It shows in other ways though - I am too lazy to do any housework and my flat ...
I find myself feeling removed from things (again, or perhaps still?). I don't have the energy to form opinions nor can I muster up enough emotion to care. I find myself waiting - for this feeling to pass, for something to happen, for me to wake up and resume life again. There is this expectancy in me, or perhaps it's ...
There are so many articles and blog posts about quitting Facebook. Unfortunately this is one of them. It's been about two weeks now. And while it wasn't exactly done as a social experiment or some kind of 30 day challenge, it has been pretty interesting to note the results of my actions. So far, the most striking thing is everyone's ...
My Rock You were the Rock, I could climb on when the seas were rough. Now, it’s like I’m set adrift. I think I knew this time would come, but not so soon. But that’s what I would have said, had it been later. I miss you. I never go the chance to say that last ‘goodbye’, or ‘I love ...
Missyouloveyou Show me the meaning of uncertainty Its many stages of joy and insecurity. Carry me away, daintily, into the stars. Like sharp diamonds and painful scars Their intensity and careless ways call me. Show me the meaning of the abandonment Of emotions, of convention, of solitude Carry me; I want to feel your love, I want to revel ...
There are three of them. Dancing on my skin, messing with my mind, setting me ablaze. They pull me apart and leave me broken. There are three of them. Smiling at my fear, laughing at my confusion, taunting me with their possibilities. I ignore them, but they never disappear. There are three of them. They carry me like friends, ...
I have always loved music, as much as it's possible to love something, and having it be a part of my life without actually learning anything about it. I am not a singer (but I've done a few rare gigs in the shower), not a musician (always wanted to learn the drums - there are not enough female drummers ...
I wait for emotions to fill me up. I search the spaces where I think they hide. But nothing stares back at me, its dark eyes inviting, its wings open. I am embraced. I will continue looking. There are many dark corners yet to explore. But I am finding it hard to care. I sit my companion down on ...
Ever feel completely brain dead? Like - there is nothing in your head, except for basic mundane thoughts - e.g. - what's on tv? Have I watched this one before? Am I hungry enough to make a sandwich or will some crisps do? I need to pee, no wait I don't, no, no, I do etc. I have been so ...
In my last post I mentioned I had a job offer. Well, I've accepted it. It's an internal position, so it's not a massive change. It's a big step up, which is really scary. I've pretty much skipped a role (or two) and landed myself in a quagmire of decision making and responsibility. What is really frustrating though, is ...
My dreams are made of paper, balanced on a mans desire, my very own paper mountain, not getting any higher. I let him hold it, but don’t know why. Maybe I should have learned by now, I'm naive trusting and blind. I walk up my paper mountain punching holes through my soul. If my mountain collapses, will I still be ...
People baffle me sometimes, but then, a lot of things baffle me. So much so that I tend to walk around in a near continuous state of befuddlement. I like to think everything has a reason, and that people make choices based on their motives. The choices they make are confusing enough but its the motive that really interests me. ...
Well, I am back. I've actually been back for about 10 days now. But its been a manic 10 days and I've fallen asleep before feeling inclined or inspired to write. Anytime I go back home, I wind up being extremely homesick. Which is natural enough I guess. I was home last October and it took me ages to shake ...
"I'm just an animal looking for a homeShare the same space for a minute or two" - This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads If there is one song that I wish I'd written, it's probably this one. On other news, flying out home tonight. Tomorrow - Lion Lager and sunshine :) ... or maybe just sunshine cos I hear its Vesak...
She is screaming at me, Begging me to stop. And as I chose to ignore her, I feel stronger, weaker, scared and alone. She tells me the truth Every single day. Her words have this way Of seeping through my bubble. Of drowning me, Of killing and reviving me, All at once. Is it any wonder that I'd rather ...
I was looking back at an old blog/diary I had a few years ago. One post was when I was just turning 23 and I was freaking out... and getting seriously depressed. Yeesh... 6 years later and I haven't changed at all??! Since when did birthdays even start to depress me? I used to love celebrating birthdays, and it didn't ...
My mind has been clouded for days now. Thoughts trickle away Like Little rivulets flowing from Small springs. There are millions of them, But there isn't enough water. I keep trying to follow my river thoughts, But they dry up before I reach the sea. I think It's almost like wading through jello. Or Trying to connect the dots ...
This is not a review. I am not too much of a movie person, and there are plenty of reviews out there for this movie anyway. All I can give you are my (rather biased) thoughts. So yeah, here they are - Wow. Just... wow. I don't usually like scary movies, or horror movies or movies with a lot ...