So, I’m on the footboard, and I take out of my phone and hold it up, cuz it’s too dark and the conductor can’t see the change; I drop my phone, to the ground, like a clumsy little bitch. I panic and make the bus stop – a good 50 metres later. I run back to where I suspect the ...

Note: This is, by no means, an attempt to make light of the plight of real beggars with real problems. It is for the unemployed, lazy-ass bastards like you and I. Say you’re a beggar/bus-singer/performer/whatever with a solid story and documentary evidence to back up your claims to life-long misery. You start at 8 in the morning at the Kesbewa ...

The first man that realised that the life-giving, all-powerful sun god up in the sky was not a god at all, but was really just a big, fiery ball of gas far, far away… I want to know what that felt like to him. It must’ve been so exhilarating and terribly depressing at the same time. When a belief that ...

I’m outside the Sumanadisi Bakers, at the Kohuwala junction. The time is 14:06. There are at least five cops directing the traffic here; and, needless to say, the congestion is very bad. It’s a Saturday. Usually, there is zero congestion here on Saturdays. And usually, there are zero traffic cops here on Saturdays. Do the math. This is just one ...

Or actor, or TV show, or book, or whatever. I never seem to have an answer to this question. I’ve read a ton of books, seen countless movies, sat through centuries of television and masturbated to too many actresses [and “actresses”]; but, for the life of me, I couldn’t ever name a favourite. Not one. They say your likes ...

Can somebody tell me why this book is so popular? Because I’m really not seeing the appeal. Maybe I read it too fast? Honestly, I could see the supposedly surprise-ending coming from a mile away. Jeph Loeb’s writing is good (as expected), but just falls short of being great. Which is a shame, because this particular story has a ...

I’m listening to the above, on loop. Always been a sucker for this kinda sound. I was never really sure why. Maybe it’s the feeling of being transported to another place, another time, another plane of existence. Maybe it’s that indescribable physical sensation you experience in your chest, the same feeling you get when you’re falling in love. Or ...

The following is something I wrote in December, last year: The occupational hazards of begging for a living are many, one would imagine; but none could be more depressing than the humiliation that comes with it, gift-wrapped in pity. Every two-rupee coin tossed into your cupped palms is an acknowledgement of how the world has failed you, over the years; ...

Immediate thoughts upon leaving the cinema: “Holy shit, that was fucking awesome! Can’t wait to see it again.” Premise: Earthling Peter Quill a.k.a. Star-Lord teams up with a bunch of interstellar jerkoffs comprising a talking raccoon, a walking tree, a green female assassin and a big, greenish tough guy with anger management issues (no, not THAT guy) to save the ...

Or actor, or TV show, or book, or whatever. I never seem to have an answer to this question. I’ve read a ton of books, seen countless movies, sat through centuries of television and masturbated to too many actresses [and “actresses”]; but, for the life of me, I couldn’t ever name a favourite. Not one. They say your likes ...

Can somebody tell me why this book is so popular? Because I’m really not seeing the appeal. Maybe I read it too fast? Honestly, I could see the supposedly surprise-ending coming from a mile away. Jeph Loeb’s writing is good (as expected), but just falls short of being great. Which is a shame, because this particular story has a ...

One look at his surroundings, and Jack Summers knew he was at the right place. Where else could he be? Everything was the way he was told it would be. Everything. Down to the last crack on the dusty tiled floor. He didn’t have to walk to the door to realise it was locked from the outside. The windows were ...

Someone had shared on Facebook this poorly researched article (published by the Huffington Post, no less), on how men “emotionally manipulate” women by calling their oversensitivity. Written by a dude, at that. This guy argues that, by pointing out to a woman that she may be overreacting to a certain situation, you are effectively making her question her sanity. Never ...

I’m at the Bamba Barista, the one on Duplication Road. They have a sort of porch out here, with cheap but relatively comfy armchairs and a couple of ancient-looking coffee tables. It’s pouring outside; so, here I am, killing time, hogging their WiFi and not even thinking of purchasing so much as a Maalupaang. I guess that makes me something ...

is happening this Sunday, at the Warehouse Project, Colombo. Pecha what? Simply put, it’s a kind of slideshow – with a twist. Pecha Kucha is a Japanese word that literally means ‘chit-chat.’ A speaker presents a total of 20 slides, at 20 seconds per slide. That’s seven minutes in total. This takes the suck out of it. Nobody wants to ...