My circumstances leaving the country were slightly unusual, and quite frankly, I don’t think it’s ones I have spoken to many about. True enough, Sri Lanka was in crisis when I left, and I still struggle to come to terms with a lot of guilt, but that’s a story for another time. My reasons for leaving (despite the crisis) weren’t even the economy. I was working freelance, and for most of the part, my pay cheques weren’t terribly affected by all that was going on. Instead, my mental health and how little work I was getting done was affected. As those who freelance or work for themselves would know, discipline is important to get things moving. But discipline goes out the window when you are constantly watching the news and aimlessly doom-scrolling Twitter. So that’s why I moved, to be in a different environment. And actually, it did make a difference. And yes, I do understand that it is privilege speaking and yes, that makes me uncomfortable but that is the truth.

Before I came to the UAE, I’ve been here a few times as my sister’s been here for 15 years. I’ve always liked it as a place for a holiday, but not to live, because perhaps due to the nature of the work I was doing in the development sector or because of my unconditional love for South Asia, living here was an idea quite out of reach. But things happened the way they did, and here we are.

Now being here for a year, there are things I love about this place. The fact that I can wear what I want, the convenience of things, or the lack of street harassment. The latter is quite mind-boggling. I always tell people that my street harassment threshold is very high, but my racism threshold isn’t. In an ideal world, we shouldn’t have thresholds for either of these, but we are brown, and that’s how things are. The UAE also has room for growth and potential – if you have skill or money, or both. I see this as a place that rewards hard work. Still, at the same time, it’s really easy to get distracted by everything that’s easily available to buy, shop and consume.

But things were different this April when I returned to Sri Lanka for a few days. It put things into perspective and answered some of my questions. I was able to, for the first time, objectively look at the life I had in Sri Lanka and realise how much I had/lacked compared to what was awaiting me in the desert. Of course, you always win some, and you lose some. But it also brought a frame of reference that I was lacking.

Many whom I’ve met here refer to Dubai as a ‘transient’ destination, and I think that is what it is for me as well. It’s definitely not for the long-term (for me) for many reasons, but for now, it’s a place to call home.