Speaking to the media today, Ajith Ratwatte, Minister of Containers, Container Warehouses, Container Cleaning Materials and Modern Dance, spoke out forcefully about the key problem facing the country saying, ‘It is a lack of respect for politicians that has caused the rampant inflation and the power & fuel shortages that have crippled our nation. If the people had shown more respect for the challenges we politicians have to overcome, things might have been different. Take me for instance; as Minister I control hundreds of millions of rupees in expenditure despite having failed O’ level Maths and spending half my time in Court on various assault and corruption cases. Why do I get no respect?’.

Nimal Priyashantha, Minister of Ornamental Fish, Multiday Fishing Activities and Children’s Theatre, was particularly irate, ‘Let me tell you just how bad the levels of disrespect have gotten. Only yesterday, I organized 50 million rupees of fuel for a motorcade to deliver 1 million rupees of goods to a school in Kalpitiya. But did I get any thanks for my charity? Guess again!’

Minister of Digital Technology, Enterprise Development and Questionable Income, Namal Rajapakse, echoed these comments, ‘The lack of respect shown to us politicians is just insulting. Yes, maybe we couldn’t balance the Budget but did you see me balance on that flyboard gadget in the Maldives? That was just as difficult. Honestly, if this level of disrespect continues, I might just quit. I don’t need this job, I can live off my government pension – just me, my family and my 200 luxury watches.’

[Ed: It has been 4 years since our last post and 16 years since our first. It would have been nice if there were at least some new people or new behaviours to make fun of… but sadly, no.]