Unquotable Quotes - Part 43

Is this the time you come home on a school night? Tsk, Tsk.

— Vandoofus, disapproving of Kahuna turning up in the wee hours.

I will do as I please.

— Kahuna, in his own defense.

You need to get spanked. Er wait, you might like that.

— Vandoofus, having second thoughts on disciplining Kahuna.

I have stopped spinning.

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, on regaining control of his vestibular system.

So now you're a non-rotating black hole?

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, reaching an extremely dense conclusion.

She had a bow and arrows in the car, what do you expect?

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, on the Admiral gaining unsanctioned ingress to his building.

I will send Akio Toyoda over to beat you senseless with an accelerator pedal.

— Kahuna to Gordon, seeking speedy dispute resolution.

Sorry, the Bill of Rights does not cover 1080p.

— Kahuna, dismissing Gordon's contention that HDTV was well within his rights.

Thus proving he doesn't require authorization from resident fruit bats to do anything.

— Gordon, learning of Kahuna being bypassed in formulating the household IPTV policy by His Paternal One.

Have you negotiated with your father to not set parental controls on the device?

— Gordon to Kahuna, adding insult to injury.

I will compile the unabridged and unedited version of your biography to be presented to your offspring.

— Kahuna to Gordon, retaliating with the threat of releasing sensitive information.

SLT has also provided catnip for the household feline.

— Kahuna to Gordon, noting value-added services for cats bundled with IPTV.

Mama baya ne!

— Diya Rakusa, defying Kahuna's threat of disclosing his decidedly colorful past.

And you expect all of us to come pick you up at the airport?

— Kahuna, outraged at Vandoofus demanding an entourage on arrival from the orient.

Not a wise course of action on the Ides of March, methinks.

— Kahuna, issuing a veiled threat on receipt of a general insult from Gordon.

Why is he the Genie?

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, questioning the Genie Identity.

He likes to be rubbed.

— Kahuna, enlightening Vandoofus on the Way of the Genie.

Oh? Are you Alladin?

— Vandoofus, taking a dim view of Kahuna's role in the Way of the Genie.

That was a sub-optimal blow job.

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, concluding that the blowhole (hummanaya) in Kudawala sucked after a decidedly feeble performance.

You can see Niagara Falls for free.

— Gordon to Kahuna, on being told of the daylight robbery legislated by the Tangalle Pradeshiya Sabha in charging admission to view the blowhole.

Not to mention the quasi-bogus visitor center that seems to be modeled after some species of octopus.

— Kahuna to Gordon, critiquing the Tangalle Pradeshiya Sabha's cephalopod-inspired architecture.

Will you abuse the words 'blow' and 'hole'?

— Gordon to Kahuna, noting high potential for buffoonery presented by current events.

If I get any better I will code myself out of the matrix.

— Vandoofus's Superlative Programming Dilemma.

Maybe your code will work if you get better.

— Kahuna's Corollary to Vandoofus's Superlative Programming Dilemma.

I see a guy wearing pink slippers; hope he messes with me.

— The Genie to Kahuna, spotting a suitable victim in his continuing quest for needless violence.

I read your messages to my wife.

— Huggles, voicing displeasure at insinuations made about his technical skills in Kahuna's communications with HRH.

Did you know that Yoda's voice and Miss Piggy's voice is the same?

— The Admiral to Kahuna, discovering the dark secrets of Frank Oz.

Bring this up now, do you?

— Kahuna, displeased at the Admiral's inconvenient discoveries.