STOCHASTICITY

I vaguely recall the time I created this blog. I remember the excitement of thinking of a name and then a URL, and what I would put in the ‘About Me’ section. It had to represent me and what I stood for. I knew what I wanted to talk about and the kind of validation I was expecting. Even the kind of hate I might receive.

I was reading for a degree in IT at the time and was earning off freelance SEO writing, and I had just joined a youth activist group. So many things I wanted to say and so many things I wanted to fight for.

The Lasantha David who created this in 2009, would totally have backed Hillary and supported Antifa. He would have rushed to defend the notion that all humans are created equal.

Next month will be eight years since this collection of coding, a near quark in the vastness of the internet, came in existence. Siri just calculated it’s close to 2,900 days.

Funny how much can change in that time. I was once a passionate left-leaning socialist. Now I find myself tethered to the centre. Though not as radically as I thought, but who knows what the next 2,900 days will change.

I used to drink white rum when I started this and I hated beer. However, in the last two years, I’ve consumed a few lifetimes worth of beer and arrack. My father died an alcoholic. I never understood it then, but recovering from the same vice now, I get addiction’s pull away from affliction.

Maybe, that’s why I’ve comeback to this blog and for some reason, I’m even writing on it. I returned to see what it was like. A time when I didn’t drink or smoke as much. When higher ideals mattered more than ground realities.

But reading through it all again. I’m glad that bastard didn’t make it. Having crashed into everything in sight and crawled through the days under the influence of alcohol and the terror of depression, it all makes sense now.

Some things in this life are stochastic. And the coincidence of some occurrences are too suspicious to chalk up to chance. There might be something else out that, but there’s too much that needs doing in this world right now to take our eyes off the ground.

At the end of it all, I’ve realised I start a lot of my last paragraphs with ‘In all’. Actually what I’ve realised is that though we’re not all created equal, we can all strive to create a equal playing field for the next to come. Of course, that thought has obviously emerged because I just watched season 2 of The Man in the High Castle and giggled at the Nazi approach to perfecting humanity.

I suppose this is the part where I must say something pseudo-insightful or profound for people to ponder. But of course, I who reads this shit anymore. I chuckle every time a marketer in Sri Lanka says ‘bloggers’.

I will says that at the end of many Halmilla bottles at a very specific table at Mintage, surrounded by some very special humans, I’ve found that life isn’t about pursuing happiness. That’s just a bi-product. It’s about pursuing freedom. Gaining and accumulating the things and means to allow one to be free to do and enjoy the things they want. Buying a car or feeding all the neighbourhood strays everyday. The possibilities there are endless.

Pursue freedom. Drink in moderation. And I’m out. Out of things to say really. This has been a good escape. And, Oh God, the amount of spam comments this blog has received. Back to not caring about this little page and figuring out how to create equal opportunities for everyone etc etc etc.