I’m so sorry life has been so hard for you lately. I’m sorry about your horses and all those unlicensed elephants now astray on the streets of Colombo. I’m sorry you had to say goodbye to all those Ferraris, Audis and Bugattis you bought with your hard-earned trillions of tax-payer money. I’m sorry about all that gold from the treasury that went missing, the mystery must be keeping you up at night. How is your mother by the way? The story around town is that “She sells sea shells by the sea shore of the Seychelles”. Satire aside, I hope she’s well, I think she wasn’t all that bad. I’m sorry your brothers lost their rightfully earned captaincy in the military rugby teams. To have three brothers talented enough to captain the tri-force teams at the same time was truly a blessing for the nation, such a beautiful coincidence, in…