Hear that?

The sound of mediocrity, scattered over a screechy beat.

Mohombi, mohombi, Mohombeeee…. people chant to what was once the Cranberries Zombie. My ears are already bleeding. What’s worse? He’s not even singing live. We paid 2000 bucks to watch him lip-sync from a distance. Awesome.

The international artists that come here are like bubblegum. Sweet sugary stuff that has your attention for a while and then you realise it’s tasteless and you need to spit it out.

.Cases in point, Mohombi, Sean-Paul before that, and now, supposedly, Jay Sean.
Oh, and Sacha Lopez getting everyone to shake their booty.

That’s right, I’m a hipster. I’m typing this with my non-branded environmentally friendly shades on.

No, but seriously. Why can’t we get down some good acts? Too expensive? Yeah, but we were ready to shell out half the national budget for the Commonwealth Games. I’m sure we can find a few millions somewhere. Maybe the Chinese could help out.

… But yes. Thus far there hasn’t really been anyone showing up to get excited about. To be fair, it might be because we don’t always give the warmest welcome.
I seem to remember a grenade being lobbed at a Shahrukh Khan concert.
Then there was the time we stoned MTV and Akon’s visa got cancelled. Good times.

Of course, since there’s no international acts, you end up going, ‘to support these local endeavours’ or something to that effect. These events are an interesting study in and of themselves, because of the people that show up.

No matter where you have a concert, whether in a car park, an abandoned warehouse or an overcrowded stadium, you’ll have people totter in on high heels or ridiculous boots. This is fine if you’re not going to end up jumping up and down and screaming your guts out/reaching frantically for the artist’s sweaty towels. But that is what ends up happening. As if they’re not already in a precarious position, they’ll then consume enough alcohol to significantly blur vision. It’s a miracle these people don’t fall flat on their faces. At least it’s amusing to watch them totter around between acts. In fact, sometimes they’re more entertaining than the acts themselves.

I realise I sound like a grouch, now. I’ll admit that these artists have some value. They sell records, they’re popular. Nothing wrong with that.

It’s just not to my taste. What can I say, there’s a limited amount of booty shakin’ one can do. And I’m sure I’m not alone.

I’m sure there are others out there who are just as disgruntled about this state of affairs as I am.

Right?

RIGHT?!