Shokhin, Or How to Overthink it in Style

Let’s start with the Minister of Public Relations, he’s assaulted members of the media, tied health workers to trees, has a son who assaults members of the military. He can’t be fired because he taunts former governments with “don’t make me tell them where all the bodies are buried.” Good choice there, I’m comforted knowing that the most senior public servant in charge of maintaining good relationships with the public at large is a thug and felon.

Now on to the Minister of Water Resources and Irrigation. Another chauvinist who a few days ago made a massive statement that went largely unreported. Apparently “women do not vote for other women” and that women in the estate sector had “taken up drinking”. I do think he has a few problems to fix like massive underinvestment in agricultural infrastructure and the water resources he’ll need to replant all those hilly tea estates if Sri Lanka has a chance to survive in the modern economy. A few women having a couple of drinks after a hard day’s work is the least of his worries. Also, is not above boning his secretary in his office and having his wife find out, then letting his secretary take the fall. You bet she had a couple of drinks that night.

Ah the minister of “Health”. You know you’re passing down some healthy dna when the precious fruit of your loins sees fit to drunkenly assault a young couple after being asked to please stop taking lewd photos with the young woman in the background. Then, attempting to orchestrate a police cover-up and obstruct justice for a felony assault that landed the young man in hospital. I feel better already that such a fine, upstanding public servant is in charge of the nation’s public health policy.

And what of the Minister of Investment Promotion. A man who makes statements like “the President cannot be defeated, even in five more elections.” So, come what may in terms of democracy, in addition to debt that my grandchildren’s grandchildren will need to be paying off, we’ll be stuck with a hairdo of a legacy that gets fat, rich and pompous while routinely looking for opportunities to arbitarily and at a whim “acquire non-performing assets” and then shortly thereafter make the public at large pay for these through a complex system of taxes and head-splitting public utility bills. That’s some fine investment promotion you’re doing there, Sonny Jim.

I could go on and on. But being a woman, I need to go find some socks to darn, or jealousy to harbour. The female politicians could be (and most probably are) as corrupt and incompetent as their male counterparts, but I take particular umbrage when they are accused of being even more so.

If we suck, you suck just as much, not less dude!