In Retrospect
I sat on the edge of my bed in semi-darkness. It was night time, and most of the world was asleep. The wind was gentle, and I could hear it rustle the leaves of the trees outside.
My face buried in my hands, I sighed as I thought about my past. All the mistakes I have made, the wrong choices, the wrong things I have said. I thought about all the people I have hurt, all the beautiful things I have destroyed and the time and energy I wasted on senseless things.
In despair, I asked “Am I a bad person?”
The breeze suddenly grew stronger. I could not feel it in my room but I could hear it outside.
Instantly, my mind was filled with the good choices I had made, the people I have helped and the skills I have acquired and polished over the years. I could remember the beautiful things I have created, the good things I have done and all those moments of selflessness. I could remember the times I rose above my fears and desires and did what was right.
Smiling, I looked up from my hands at the faint light outside. I could see the trees move now, encouraging me.
“So then, am I a good person?”
The wind was starting to grow gentle. I could hear the rustling of the leaves die down.
The bad memories merged with the good. They ceased being black and white and instead brought forth a glorious world of color. Everything I had done, all the right things and a wrong things were part of a larger process. There was growth and there was decay. Life and Death. Chaos and Order.
It was all part of the journey that had brought me to where I am today, and will lead me on to tomorrow.
“So I am neither good nor bad.” I said, as the wind became a mere whisper.
“No” it replied, “You are so much more.”
Love this one.
PD said this on May 16, 2012 at 5:03 am |
Your blog posts are so awesome.. 🙂
podiman said this on May 16, 2012 at 5:56 am |