BubbleButt

I miss my kid.

I don’t get to see him that often anymore, and it’s true what they say – that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And in this particular case – it also rips it to shreds.

I die every single time i have to let him out of my arms. What do you do when your heart’s breaking into a million pieces but the tears won’t come, and you have no idea when you’ll see that little face again?

When I’m with him, i want him to hold my hand. All the time. I don’t want him to let go, because there’s something weirdly comforting about having that tiny hand in mine. When we’re in the car or trishaw, or sitting at home watching TV – he cuddles up on my tummy while i hug him. And I don’t want to stop hugging him. ever. I want to feed him cupcakes and french fries – his favourite things to eat. I want to fatten him and spoil him, and love him to death. I want to take a million pictures of him in a million different angles, just so I can see what each of his expressions look like. I don’t want him to get bigger. I want him to always be small enough to fall asleep on my shoulder.  I want to protect him for all harm, and I want to be that force field around him that the crap of the world just bounces off of. I don’t want to miss his special days at school, and it kills me that i do.

And it kills me, I’m apart from him.