Cities throughout Sri Lanka overflowed with patriotic joy this weekend in response to the government’s capture of Thoppigala and thus its total liberation of the Eastern Province from terrorists. Trishaw driver K. A. L. P. Kamaladasa commented euphorically, ‘Now our brothers and sisters in the East can live their lives without fear of terrorism and violence! Well, apart from encounters with the LTTE cadres that still move around the area … and of course the ongoing violence from the TMVP (both the Karuna and Piliyalan factions) … not to mention problems with rogue elements of the STF … and the newly resurgent EPDP. Hooray for peace!’
The government yesterday unveiled elaborate plans to celebrate the Thoppigala victory. Talking to the media, President Mahinda Rajapakse said, ‘We are going to have an victory ceremony on Thursday at Independence Square, which will itself be renamed Thoppigala Patch given that our recent victory is clearly the most significant victory that this nation has ever achieved. Our initial plan was that after demolishing Independence Square, we would landscape it to look like the Thoppigala scrub. However we then realised that we could actually fit all of Thoppigala onto the Independence Square site, so the plan is to airlift the land that we now control and ceremonially drop it on the Independence Square site as part of Thursday’s festivities’
[Ed: The BrokenNews team apologises for the lack of articles in the last month; we were grappling with the value of satire in a country so deeply mired in farce. Our struggle continues…]
Broken News 
Hi guys Just wanted to say thank you for breaking the long absence… I hope now we will be able to see more articles more frequently… believe me they add a glint of hope to my miserable life… I found it ironic that to celebrate the freedom of the east most of us in colombo had to be imprisoned so that the politicians could have their day and their way on the roads… well I must say its good to see brokennews working once again…
From the archives of the Chinese Archaeological department, 3000 AD
A recent excursion of our field excavation team to the remains of a small island once called “Lanka”, close to our arch-rival India has yielded interesting results. About 1,000 years ago, during the time that China started taking over the world once again, something that was definitely documented as a republic reverted to royal rule, with a king Raja Paksoi taking over. Why he was called after our famous Chinese Cabbage nobody knows, but we assume that this name was chosen to stress the rural character of his reign and also the fact that we basically funded him. He must have been a very good king, since within a very short field trip of only a month, our team managed to exhume many, many stones with inscriptions, ascribing great infrastructural works to this king. he must have been similar in stature to the mythical kings of 1,000 and 2,000 years before his era. deciphering is still ongoing, but among the works mentioned in the inscriptions are an irrigation reservoir, two big ports, several industrial parks, an international airport and a highway to what must have been his home village. however, the archaeologists did note something strange: other than the inscriptions, there was very little to be found in terms of actual remains of the infrastructural works. we are still puzzled what caused the sudden disappearance of everything except for the foundation stones.
Your satire remains priceless despite the abundance of farce. Please keep up the good work!
Dear Mr. Wijesinha,
I write with reference to your recent letter to Mr Samarasinghe, Minister for Disaster Management and Human Rights. At the risk of wasting my time in dealing with someone whose insidious agenda cannot be changed by facts or reason, let me hope that you are in fact concerned with the wellbeing of all citizens of Sri Lanka rather than selective manipulation of truth.
I would like to remind you that ACF did not shoot any of its employees. The responsibility for their deaths lie solely at those pulling the triggers and, more importantly, those under whose command the perpetrators of this crime acted.
In your letter, you demand answers to, inter alia:
“why as many as 17 were sent in when, according to my information from another NGO worker, this was unprecedented”
The use of unsubstantiated information like this, relying on information for one single anonymous worker from an NGO is, as previously pointed out by Sri Lankan authorities, yourself included, unacceptable, and only proves that your agenda is to tarnish ACF . It would be beneficial to your credibility if you in the future refrained from using uncorroborated data when making frivolous accusations. It would be even better if you totally refrained from making frivolous accusations.
You also query:
“why they were not withdrawn (as for instance ICRC workers were) when, as reported by the University Teachers for Human Rights, some of them begged to be rescued”
and
“why they were advised to stay in their headquarters despite repeated efforts by government officials and religious leaders to get them to move to a safer location”
My assumption is that they were not withdrawn for two reasons – one: there was no safe way to extract them from the situation as the armed forces of the Government of Sri Lanka was blocking any attempts to reach them, and two: that no right-thinking individual could have imagined that such an unprecedented and brutal act of savagery could take place in a civilized and democratic country.
“why ACF representatives are quoted (by the New York Times) as claiming that the government prevented them from going in to the rescue, when the ACF official position has been that indeed they had decided the workers would be safe if they stayed in their compound wearing ACF t-shirts”
As the armed forces of Sri Lanka prevented ACF from evacuating these workers in the manner deemed safe, the second best option at the time was to rely on the perceived respect for International Humanitarian Law and the unwillingness to commit war crimes among the combatants. ACF, as other NGOs operating in Sri Lanka, have now no doubt learnt their lesson and it is unlikely that any NGO in Sri Lanka will rely on this often repeated but seldom manifested respect in the future.
“why ACF, contrary to the request of the Sri Lankan ambassador in Paris, invited the former Head of the Sri Lanka Monitoring Mission, ”
Again an assumption from my part, but possibly ACF felt that the Sri Lankan Ambassadors request amounted to external interference in the internal affairs of ACF? In these days, as you might be aware, one has to be careful about ones sovereignty.
“why despite the perceived urgency, ACF failed to reach the compound as soon as possible, so that it was left to another agency to discover the bodies”
I think it would be best to ask the armed forces of the government of Sri Lanka this, as they hindered access to the site for all agencies (SLMM, ACF, ICRC) except for the Consortium of Humanitarian Agencies.
“why the compensation paid to the families of such workers is nugatory, given the danger to which ACF, by its irresponsibility, had exposed them, and from which it had failed to take appropriate action to rescue them as outlined above.”
I understand that the compensation paid is many, many times the compensation paid by the perpetrators of this war crime, and certainly less than the Government of Sri Lanka has paid for the failure to protect its’ citizens.
You also state: “There is no doubt that such negligence, if addressed in a European Court of Law, would have resulted in the award of massive damages to the grieved families, rather than the puny amounts that I gather from NGO sources have been awarded.”
May I add to this statement that there is no doubt that an incident such as this, if addressed by the law enforcement authorities in a civilized society, would not have remained unsolved for over a year, and that the perpetrators and those responsible for controlling them would have been incarcerated by now.
Finally, you state: “I believe the Sri Lankan government has an obligation to the victims and their families and we should insist on their behalf that ACF follow international norms in this regard.”
Sir, I agree. The Sri Lankan government had an obligation to the victims and it failed them the first time by letting undisciplined thugs murder these men and women. It failed them a second time by ensuring that the investigation into their deaths was made in a most ineffective way. You do not seem to take seriously these obligations. Your lapse in this regard only substantiates my suspicion that you began this exercise with a particular agenda, which is sadly that of those in Sri Lanka that are not interested in justice.
Interventions such as your only assist those who are trying to blacken the country’s name in the commercial world while also calling for UN monitoring. Unfortunately this campaign is pushed also by various foreign former convenience store managers and others who have found in Sri Lanka employment at a level they could not dream of in their own countries.
Finally, I would like to draw your attention on the following statement attributed to you:
“What they should also be interested in is the manner in which the Sri Lankan armed forces conducted themselves throughout the operation in the east. There were hardly any civilians [sic] casualties, as is borne out by the reports of the Sri Lanka Monitoring Mission.”
It is saddening that a senior official of the Government of Sri Lanka considers that in excess of 100 innocent civilians dying as ‘hardly any civilian casualties’, but I guess it is rather telling of the care You have for your fellow citizens.
Thank you.
Sorry – didn’t know where to post that…..it is a reply to Mr. Wijesinhas letter regarding ACF from August 13th….I think there’s a bit of satire in there.