Smoke it,Buddy!! 8 reasons why you should smoke

whizpen ♦ August 12, 2010 ♦ 1 Comment

1.You wont grow old

With a failing lung, a kidney, an eye sight and a failing nearly every organ you just wouldn’t live long enough to grow old. SO during your time on earth you stay young!

2.No more thieves at home and no security expenses

With the lung cancer you’ve got courtesy of the cigarette company you are gonto be up all night coughing. Hearing that the inmates are awake No thief is going set foot to your home. And you don’t need to spend on security either. You are good enough. So go ahead buddy. Save some money for your family will you?

3.  No more daughters

Now you would most probably like this especially if you were an Indian. You don’t have to spend lakhs on dowries or thousands for aborting your kid. Just start smoking. The resulting impotency would totally make sure that you not only will not have daughters, but sons too! So no more trouble about leaking nappies , running noses OR sticky carpets. And you wouldn’t have the patter of tiny feet on your floors to disturb you either or not even anyone you’ve got to help the homework with. Now wouldn’t you call that an easy AND a carefree life??

4. No more dogs to bite you

In time when all that smoke causes your bones to weaken you are going to start taking a walking sick around with you just to hold you up. So mind you the dogs are not going to disturb you and even if they did, no problem. This time around you don’t have to look for any stick. Congrats! you’ve got one right in your hand!!

5. You are good for the country

Did you know that SriLanka’s highest tax earnings comes from taxes on cigarettes and alcohol? And did you know that despite the tax levy being increased nearly every budget in a move to discourage consumption it STILL continues to be a good income tax earner? The last time I heard, a cigarette cost twelve rupees. If you are a heavy smoker and smoke about 50 or 60 per day .That would be about 700 rupees for a day and a whopping 21,000rupees just from you for a month!! Even if it is just 10 a day you still earn a good 3600rupees income for the country. More income for the country will mean a more developed economy. A more developed economy would mean better lives for the people. So you see, we do need you people to smoke your life away in order for us to have better roads and highways and infrastructure. Now if you stop giving us a big part of your income to better our lives what in the world would we do without all of you? Well, anyhow glad to know we’ve got some really patriotic people who are willing to give up their lives just to make sure that we don’t damage our Ferraris on potholed roads.

6. And You are good for the world

Experts calculate than in a few decades the world would face a food shortage and a hunger problem due to over population. So if you people are nice enough to join soon enough the people who die on a daily basis and become minerals for the earth through cigarette smoking then I’m pretty sure that we wouldn’t be having a hunger problem any time soon. So do the world a favour will you?

7. No more Signal toothpaste

The chemicals in the cigarettes are going to tint your teeth a nice yellow and in time all of your teeth are going to decay into oblivion. So buddy, no more brushing with signal for you anymore.

8. Fireworks!!!

Despite you being so thoughtful about every one in the world and started smoking sacrificing your life for the country your family however is going to be, very happy, when you die. With No one to nick their things to pay for a bit of booze and drugs and cigarettes or to blacken their lives smoking away like a furnace,life is sure going to be good for them. So the moment you are below the sod there is going to be a lot of fireworks in the neighbourhood. With no elections around and no LTTE to provide that service now, we sure can do with some fun around.

SO the next time you hear someone telling you to stop smoking just ignore them and don’t be in their company. They simply don’t understand what a favour you are doing for the world. So you just smoke it buddy, JUST YOU SOAK IT!!