DON’T KILL ME MOTHER!!! : The plea of a fetus
Its dark and wet inside .There is enough room for my tiny self to move around, yet I am alone in here. But a reassuring steady rhythm beat keeps me company in my loneliness. Your heart beat mother. Yet..I wonder how long this would be, because mother, I know that you want to kill me and I want to know why??
Or maybe I do know why. It’s because of him isn’t it? He who would be called my “father” IF I’m allowed to live. But that is why he doesn’t want me, isn’t it? He doesn’t want me to live and call him by that name. He’s already got two to call him so legally with another one on the way. And I am not included. And you don’t know that yet mother .You still believe his story about enjoying life a little more before marrying, having kids and settling down, don’t you? Believe me mother, he’s done that already. And this time around you are not a part of it. Not even a little, mother, and you would never be. For him you are just one of those pretty dolls he takes to play with. The prettiest and the sweetest by the way…..
Your parents, my grandparents, don’t know do they? That’s why you haven’t been visiting them for a long time. You do love them and you do know that it would break their heart if they knew. But why didn’t you think of them even a little before you fell for “his” charms mother? Did you not come to the city despite their protests because you wanted a better life for them? Not to destroy your life was it? I just wish you the best mother…..
It’s not like you don’t love me. I know you do. The way you stroke your belly when you are alone and the way your heart beat quickens every time he brings up the topic of killing me reassures me of that. But I know you love him more than you do me and I know I have to go sometime soon. I have to go even before I see the outside world. But I’m not sure how. Maybe you would take a drug that would poison and destroy me or maybe I would be torn away from you limb by limb.
I know it would be so painful more than anything I know, but I am so weak, mother, there is nothing I can do. There is no way I can stop you and there is no way I can talk to you. I wish I could tell you that after me there won’t be anyone else for you. Your womb will be never the same again mother. It won’t hold anyone after me. It won’t be able to. “He” will leave you in some time when he gets tired of you. Your parents will get to know and that heartbreak will take them faster to their graves. You won’t ever marry for your name will be tarnished forever. And when you die it will be in an obscure elders’ home, alone, without a single person to mourn for you. There won’t be me to grow up and look after my beloved mother, to stay close with her, to love her and to be with her. I would be dead by then. Even before I see her beautiful face.
Don’t do this for yourself mother. Don’t destroy your life even before it has started. I love you, mother. Just listen to me mother. Please don’t kill me..
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