what a strange long trip its been

Retrospective introspection. When i look back things seem strangely empty. So much more i could've done. So much more adventure to have had. I look back and wish i'd joined the army, wish i'd become a deep sea diver anything but this. Anything but to be stuck behind a desk.

All pipe dreams in pipe seams. lost in a metal atom's electron surge. Quantum physics pulls me in the diretion of the normal. Responsibility, safety, obligation, duty, they exist even though we may think it cool to diss them, these inherent characteristics of life. But one has duty on cannot escape from; and 'duty is as heavy as a mountain, death as light as a feather' as Robert Jordan would say.

But there is no need to be depressed. Inside me there is this surging torrent of unrest, some trapped energy that wont stop churing that keeps me going. Energy is everything, hope is nothing without energy, dreams are nothing without energy, plans are nothing, nothing exists without energy.