Up and coming Parliamentary hopeful Mahinda Rajapaksa today unveiled his plans to build Asia’s largest port in the town of Kurunegala. Speaking at a media briefing, Mr. Rajapaksa said, ‘Kurunegala’s talented work force and good road links make it the obvious location for our new port; I see no reason at all why we can’t create a global shipping hub in Kurunegala that outshines the second-rate players currently in the market, such as Singapore, Dubai and Hambantota.’

Mr. Rajapaksa went on to say that, once elected, he would ensure that Kurunegala would also have an international airport, a bird sanctuary, an industrial park, a series of luxury hotels, a petting zoo, a Formula 1 racetrack, a movie studio, a 350 metre tall phallic symbol and 42 new highways. Mr. Rajapaksa also promised to donate one of his children to oversee all the projects and manage the finances, citing their experience in such matters.