Kolombians are a distinct people from Colombo who know much -- so much that they are wont to think that others don't know and can't think. They have things to say. A lot of things to say. The entire country can learn from them. This is the twenty third in a series published in 'The Nation' under the title 'Notes of an Unrepentant Kolombian'. Scroll down for other articles in this series.
I’m hearing some disgruntled voices. They are not happy with things. They don’t like some stuff and they complain
about stuff not done. They are raising
questions about appointments. Raising
eyebrows over decisions taken by the Central Bank Governor which helped his
son-in-law get a massive Avurudu Bonus two months early and just 6 weeks into
‘Maithripalanaya’.
They are all missing the bus by some distance.
This is the story, folks. Sure there’s right and wrong in this
world. Legal and illegal. Above board and under the table. Dirty crime and laundered crime. There are our people and their people. That old story about the goose, the gander
and sauce is rubbish, if you are thinking what I think you are thinking.
Let me give you an example. Remember 88-89? Some fifty thousand people were brutally
killed (if you ask me, they asked for it, but that’s another story). They are mostly unarmed. The last time there was summary execution of
that kind was way back when reps from the Mother Country ran things. That’s the 19th Century. Whatever happened since then is nothing
compared to what happened in 88-89. Ever
heard of the Mother Country complaining? Nope.
Like mother, like son. It’s as
simple as that.
It is really frustrating when people just don’t get
it. We are the 007s of Sri Lanka. It’s not that Kolombians can do no
wrong. That’s wrong. Kolombians can do wrong. And get away with it. That’s right.
Birthright.
So those who want to gripe about Ravi K appointing
his near and dear to this or that post should take some gripe water and return
to their rightful place in the footnotes of the relevant political text. Those who complain that ex-pilferers have
been appointed to made-for-pilfer positions in the Cricket Board should just
shut up; Kolombians don’t pilfer, we just do as we please. It’s a right.
Birthright. Those who are upset
with the Mahendran family should check whether or not they belong to Kolombia
and once they realize that they do, keep quiet.
Just so everyone knows, the only thing wrong about
all this is that the Kolombian’s birthright to do wrong has not been enshrined
in the Constitution. Maybe it is one of
those ‘goes-without-saying’ which, as someone said, ‘comes without
saying’.
Anyway, if you can’t get a hang of all this, just
ask yourself a simple question: ‘Why can’t they get off Square One in this
constitution-amending business?’ Here’s
the answer: ‘not interested – nothing that doesn’t serve Kolombian interests
interest us.’
Shortcuts to becoming a Kolombian
A Kolombian's worst nightmare
The Bourse is ours!
You name it, Kolombians own it
We shall not be re-named
Get off my walkway!
Thank you Mahinda for the Avacado Prawns!
English is a feel-good thing na?
Dear Percy, your membership card is ready
Forget Mahinda and Maithree, Alistair Cook is the Kolombian choice!
One day we will acquire 'class conciseness'!
Mahinda, Maithripala and their Money-Pestos
A Kolombian's worst nightmare
The Bourse is ours!
You name it, Kolombians own it
We shall not be re-named
Get off my walkway!
Thank you Mahinda for the Avacado Prawns!
English is a feel-good thing na?
Dear Percy, your membership card is ready
Forget Mahinda and Maithree, Alistair Cook is the Kolombian choice!
One day we will acquire 'class conciseness'!
Mahinda, Maithripala and their Money-Pestos
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