Thursday, November 27, 2014

A long rant

Yet another glorious rant! It's been a while since I ranted away to my heart's content. Those of whom are bored out of their minds by random ranting, be warned. This is your cue to run several miles.

Been a crazy two weeks. Weekend had been non-existent. Work had been (dare I say fun?) but exhausting, for the lack of a better word. But it's amazing how quickly you can bounce back from exhaustion and all that it entails if you truly enjoy your work. For the moment, I do.

I am somewhat of a workaholic. I do not mind hard work as long as my work is being appreciated. What I cannot stand although is chaos. And lazy people. I don't like slackers. I like working with enthusiastic, passionate, helpful, genuine people. I like idealists. Even if they can be quite hard to work with, I like associating with people with a vision. In a world of plastic falseness where principles and personal ideals are as disposable as used tissues, idealists who are genuinely passionate about their cause and who will not compromise on their ideals are indeed, rare breaths of fresh air in a city congested with petrol fumes and cheap perfume.

It's disappointing how hard it is to find a descent human being with their ideals intact. It depresses me sometimes how I cannot seem to find at least a handful of human beings that I can actually respect.

I feel blessed. I am surrounded by people who genuinely care and that alone is the foundation I stand on. However, I've come to realize that people who matter are the ones who will make time for you to show that they care. The rest are just specks of dust unworthy of your attention. I'm choosy about who I associate with and so, my attachments are strong, having been saturated on only a few select, handpicked people. However, if I choose to add someone to my inner circle and my attention is ignored, it is personal and my interest too is eventually lost for good. I am a tad too sensitive than I like and am quick to shut down on people, at the slightest sign of rejection. Psychologically speaking, I'm an INTJ girl after all.

Why is it so cold these days? Really, I don't understand Sri Lankan weather. One minute we are all sweating the skin off our bones and the next, we are freezing our bowel movements. It's almost end of November and there is nearly no hint of that tingly Christmassy feeling at all. It was there aplenty few months back (and I've even questioned my sanity when I was feeling Christmassy in September), but not anymore. I don't think I will ever settle for a cold and gloomy Christmas, let alone a white one. Christmas for me will always be golden, happy sunshine, warmth and that searing but exciting restlessness that keeps you running round and round with stars in your eyes. It will always be a bit sweaty, clean hot skin, pungent from the sweltering warmth of sun-kissed languid afternoons. Christmas for me will always be the smell of cinnamon, of cardamom and baking cakes, of rum, fried things and marzipan. It will always be the smell of new Christmas decorations, the rustle and shine of tinsel, the twinkling lights of the Christmas trees of childhood. Christmas for me is chocolate fudge, laughter around the table, roasting poultry, frilly rich dresses and happy barks and warm furry hugs. Christmas for me will always be the smell of scented candles, memories of the beautiful times and wonderful, tear-jerking nostalgia of things that had been and never been but could have been.

I am already lost in the Christmassy world. But the sensations are long awaiting. Or perhaps I've been too busy to feel them? This weekend will be fairly laid back and I may be able to taste a bit of my own life once again, hanging out with the people that I care about. I've missed it all a bit too long! Let's see. But the main point is, the Lady has been happy :)




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