I've done so much wrong that sometimes I wonder if I can live under the cumulative burden of it all. Consequences add up, making all my life-choices questionable. Life's a whirl, and sometimes I have to step aside, ashamed that I can't take the pace.This day will bring what it will. And I may stand, or I may fall. But here, in the quiet of this moment, I am strong.

I lay brokenhearted in the night for years, crying tears that were such a waste. So much effort, so much energy lost, trying to recover what I just gave away. But you know something? I'd do it all again, just to feel your heartbeat again as you lie next to me. To feel your skin on mine, the touch of ...

It's been a while, and I still miss you. I've tried talking myself out of it, unsuccessfully, and just given in.The good news is you're no longer a sharp pain in my heart. When someone mentions you, I no longer store it away to examine later, to treasure it and cry over it in private. You're still a huge part ...

I've had some good days lately. I'm grateful for them, and am determined to enjoy them while they last. I've learnt that even in the insanity that currently surrounds my life, I can find a space for myself sometimes, and be at peace. It's a fragile bubble, one that bursts often, and painfully, but surrounds me again. I owe it ...

... is my life. No, I haven't started working out. Well, yes, I have. Just not at a gym. What I meant is that my life is full of spiritual resistance training. Whenever I seem to think I've got the hang of how to survive at a certain level, someone goes and increases the resistance. Now, as grateful as I ...

The more I see of you, the more cynical I get. You were my first love, the man who came before all other men. The one I loved unconditionally and totally, and the one who let me down the hardest. Every time I think you've changed a little, it just turns out you're just using us again. I guess you ...

I deny it not.This is my sadblog. It's where I unload all my hurt, lost dreams, wishes that never came true. Maybe that makes my life look a little unbalanced, but what's the point of planting flowers on a garbage dump? Sure, it makes good manure, but no one'd really benefit because the smell of the flowers would be overwhelmed.So ...

Step forward, step back, forward, then back.They taught me how to dance... and then I learnt to dance with you, and forgot everything else. This is not how it's supposed to be.I should have known better. I'm old enough and smart enough, but I've never been detached enough. Never drag someone else into a life that's too messed up to ...

A first step. A small one.Pushing forward through darkness and confusion. Knowing you won't be there. Finding a way not to care. Life is out there, and I will find it, will live it. And the maybes will fade. This time will fade. And I will go on.Strength is hard to find after so long wasting away, but I had ...

I am depressed. There I said it. Not that saying it seems to solve anything. It never has. The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have it? Phooey. Sometimes it seems to me it's an excuse, but it's not. I'm sure I can fight it though.I lost everything - my dignity, sanity and even the moderate amounts ...

Standing at yet another edge of sanity, looking back, I'm wondering whether the choice to jump off was worth it. But what was there left to do? Latent hatred, roiling anger,and the desire to no longer be here, do this leaves me speechless. I wonder why you, and why you had the impact on me that you did. In picking ...

I haven't been able to write. I've been blocked, completely. Nothing at all, not little snatches of poetry, not my thoughts or feelings. They've all been stuck inside me for a while now. And I find that scary. Because I've always been able to write. It's the one thing that could set me free, give me the release I couldn't ...

... is you.I never learn, do I? If you open yourself up to people, you give them the power to hurt you. They may not mean to, will swear to you that they'd rather do a million unpleasant things like sleeping on a bed made exclusively of live, writhing snakes and thorns, but believe them at your peril. Most often, ...

Slipslip slidingmad eyes writhing,the Gorgons' dark breath foretelling her death, down the slope she goes where to, no one knows."The Earth, she's hard", so sang the bardwho kenned well what he said. The dying soul has fledinto the deeps of hell called by the pealing knell. ...

I'm tempted to run again. Just barely holding myself together. I can feel the panic building, the familiar tension. It's a flight reaction because I can't remember how to fight. He tells me it'll be alright, and I nod and smile, but I think even he can see I'm not convinced - not entirely.It's early this time. I promise not ...

Standing right at the edge, she watches the waves lap over her feet. It's a cloudy, overcast day, and there's no sign of the sun. The sound of the waves envelops her, holding her close. She can hear shouts, but they're faraway, everyday things, meant to be ignored. Entranced, she steps closer, and sits on the sand, ignoring the water ...

Pushed and pulled by conflicting loyalties, she wonders where this is all going to end.The choices stretch ahead of her - thin, uncompromising wires - and she takes the first step. She's hesitant, trembling as she leaves the safety of the platform. There is no a safety net, and a mis-step could send her crashing towards - what, exactly?She's afraid, ...

This is where I'd usually write a long, tearful post about how everything sucks and it's all my fault and shit. But to be honest, I'm sick of feeling that way. Life's messy and you don't get it right all the time. Sometimes the choices you make affect other people. And there are always consequences.But you live through it. I ...

Continued from here... She fell back on the floor, writhing in pain. They just watched, unaffected.They'd all known she'd try to escape, just as she'd known that they would stop her - that it'd never work. But she'd had to try.He walked in through a door behind her and she curled up into a ball. She could still sense him ...

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