On days when I wake up feeling....well nothing much, I look back and wonder why I spend so many days waking up with the world on my shoulders. The buzzing mind in the morning is something I am seeing as a personality trait (maybe it's coz I'm a morning person, and staying in bed till past 7am is going against ...
I slept too hard, and am up too early. The weather's lovely, the aftermath of last night's stormy rain combined with a cool breeze, framed by my flowery curtains and bamboo blinds. I'm wearing a new pretty top, a present, it makes me feel girly and sweet. Rubber thongs on my feet to add that me-factor- never wanting to be ...
So I let my down get the better of me today (and let's face it, yesterday too) and didn't go into work today. Half the time I'm on leave is because I'm sick. The other half is because I feel too low to face a day at the office.Is this just me?What do you do to help you make that ...
My posts this month have been way too few and far between, and mostly negative. I do admit I write mostly when something is bothering me, and atleast this time I have a valid reason. Been having a bad run of ill health, and having neglected it due to work raining down on me (and the dumbest subordinate on earth- ...
I'm on medicines more days than I'm not.Atleast that's how I feel right now. Been having annoying sicknesses for the past week, and after trying the local stuff -now doesn't that sound dodgy- and not getting better, I finally resorted to seeing a doctor. I now take metallic tasting big ass antibiotic, which fortunately is yeilding results.Deciding to go the ...
I would not exchange the sorrows of my heart For the joys of the multitude.And I would not have the tears that sadness makes To flow from my every part turn into laughter. I would that my life remain a tear and a smile.A tear to purify my heart and give me understandingOf life's secrets and hidden things. A smile ...
So it's been happening again this week. I've been waking up way before I should, and stressing out about work over a slowly but persistently sinking heart. I tell myself the usual - this is temporary, ups and downs, job dissatisfaction is inevitable, everyone goes through it, it's just a job, I'm getting a promotion SO BE HAPPY DAMMIT!Perhaps it's ...
I scroll through pictures from 4 years ago, and I almost can't recognise myself. My hair's longer, I'm thinner in one instance, fatter in another. And most of all there's something I cannot quite place that is somehow so different. Maybe it's the extra wrinkles at the corners of my eyes, maybe it's the cheeks that hang just a tad ...
When I feel sad, nothing else matters.It doesn't matter that I have loads of work to attend to.It doesn't matter that it's my mother's birthday.It doesn't matter that I lie to him and pretend everything's okay.All that matters are MY feelings, the injustice done to ME, and the fact that I have no one who will stand up for me.This ...
As I'm writing this, I'm also chatting to him online. Our chat is full of smiley's, silly lyrics of songs, and confessions. I typed out a message after he dropped me last night, asking if he got home safe, and then didn't send it because it sounded too routine and relationshipish. I am in a relationship though. All over again.But ...
He asked me if I've had angsty periods. I said yes, not so long ago. And then he asked me if I was happy."With what?""Life. In general""I am. Like right now, I am happy"Is a man the cause for my happiness?Yes. And no.Yes- because seriously, who wouldn't be happy to be with someone seemingly (ha, caution!) sane and sweet and ...
Hearts, flowers and smiley faces- that's what you've reduced me to.I open the door, and stand in my balcony, stretching with my eyes closed, blinded by the sunlight, warmth washing over me, and smiling into the darkness (my eyes are closed, remember).I know now, for sure. I am positive.I am all in.The heart's property of always bobbing up to the ...
I've got writers block. During a phase in my life where I sit and wonder why I'm not following a passion, and then wondering what exactly that passion is, I neglect the very thing I used to enjoy. I think my perspective has changed- from embracing my emotions to wanting badly to put them behind me. I've been so emotional ...
Sometimes I feel as strong as glass. That is, not very strong at all. I feel extremely fragile, and it hurts to breathe. Maybe I'm just dramatizing a bad day (week), but I've always been good at writing exactly how I feel. And right now, I'm glass.Here's something from a poet I like:You with the Crack Running Through You By ...